44 thinking of a new baby but the risks???

hi all, bit of a dilemma going on.. i have 4 children the youngest is 6 yrs and feeling very broody at the moment thinking very seriously about having another baby but at 44 the risks really make me think twice... been to the doc for advice this am but came out more confused than when i went in. the risks of a down syndrome baby is 40 -1. is it really worth the risk?? made an appt with a midwife at the local hosp to discuss this.. some positive info would really make me feel good.



any news much appreciated.

thanks

[Liz1967]

Hi Mandy

I am trying for another baby, now I am 41 and a bit so not sure about the risk of downs, but its probably about the same as the figure you were quoted.

I know I couldn't cope with a downs baby, so if I am lucky to get pg again will opt for the nuchal and bloods which I had with my last pregnancy. This reduced my odds from 1 in 80 something to 1 in 1695.

I guess it depends on how you would feel about a child with a disability, if it wouldn't bother you I couldn't see the point in having the tests.

Also, remember even if the risk is 1 in 40, you still have 39 chances that it wouldn't be you.

Sorry, probably not much use, but I do know where you are coming from, having had 3 healthy children I do worry if I am pushing my luck a bit

Love
Liz
xx

thanks for your reply think im leaning too much towards the negatives rather than the positives.... hopefully meeting at hosp may settle my fears...



mandy x

[loubylou]

Originally Posted by Liz1967

Hi Mandy

I am trying for another baby, Liz
xx

Did I miss a post! Yay Liz, hope to here good news soon.

[Julia]

I don't think she ever stopped, did you Liz?

Mandy I just (6 months ago) had a baby aged 42 - assisted by Clomid and some great help from infertility and recurrent miscarriage people (yeah I had both - long story!) We decided that if we knew we had a disabled baby we would not terminate so just had the basic NHS testing - my "natural" Downs risk was halved by the basic test - I was still at enough risk to be contacted afterwards (1 in 130ish if I remember right - which I was delighted at!) but I think if you have the nuchal plus bloods test you can get a really accurate number...

Good luck. I'd love another but am loving my 5 year gap between ds and dd - and I REALLY can't afford to wait another 5 years!

[Liz1967]

Originally Posted by loubylou

Did I miss a post! Yay Liz, hope to here good news soon.

Hi Louise and Julia,

I did take the mini pill for a few months after Daniel was born, but have recently decided after much dithering to let nature take its course, so we are TTC but not obsessively (I couldn't even tell you which CD I am!).

Now Louise - you next???

Love
Liz
xx

[alexandra_c]

Hi Mandy,

When I had my first son at 28 I had some complications (all turned out ok), but remember reading statistics at the hospital and being quite alarmed. When I had my second son at 38 the risks really didn't bother me, I did have tests due to the issues with my first son, but wouldn't have had invasive tests otherwise.

The chances are that everything WILL be ok.

Good luck,

Alexandra x

p.s. If my circumstances were different I would consider having another child (if I was lucky enough to conceive) and I am 43.

[loubylou]

Originally Posted by Liz1967

Now Louise - you next???

Love
Liz
xx

I cant decide what to do. My head says no, 3 kids in a car is easy 4 is a problem, we would also need to extend the house as its only a 3 bed and the big one is I'm really worried about another mc. But then my heart and Dh! lol, is saying go for it who cares! lol

So its a maybe in a couple of months time jobby!

Wishing you tons of baby dust though, and well done on the relaxed ttc I just cant do that I' too much of a control freak!

[Liz1967]

Hi Louise

Its tricky isn't it

My head says No - we can't afford it, we are too old, we would need more space although we have 4 bedrooms and no sign of my oldest coming back, risk of m/c etc, the car is easy cos we have a Zafira so there can be 7 seats (mind you, no boot space for an umbrella buggy let alone a pram if you use all 7 seats!). There are just so many sensible reasons not to, but I figured if I didn't at least try I would regret it. So I am going with my heart, hoping to give Daniel a sibling close in age before I am too old, and would really push my luck and wish for a girl which would be the icing on the cake. Not that I would mind another boy, the main thing is a healthy baby. I think DP is more keen than me which I don't mind as he is great with Daniel, completely hands on and pretty much takes over when he gets in from work.

Love
Liz
xx