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When a child dies Coping with the death of a child

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  #11  
Old 22-02-2009, 09:56 AM
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((((((Bernie))))))

I cannot think of any loss that is harder to bear than that of a child, nor can I think of anyone I have lost whom I don't look back on with some guilt or regret even if it is not deserved - that's life.

When our loved ones are taken we are completely disempowered, we think that we might have made a difference somehow but the truth is that we acted without hindsight and only with the knowledge we were given at that time. Feeling disempowered is alien to adults, we feel in control of all that we do we make decisions that we believe are the right ones, when we reflect back after a loss we are left wondering about what differences we might have made - that is a natural reaction.

We look back thinking 'how can you take him without giving me the chance to try something else?' We can only think this after they are gone because it is only then that we have the benefit of hindsight.

The truth is that your darling Joshua was life limited. You and your family gave that little boy a beautiful life and you did everything you could to extend his life and make his time on earth precious. You could not have done more.

Try to understand that you are experiencing perfectly normal reactions to a dreadful trauma. I will pray for you that you achieve the peace in your heart that you truly deserve.

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Old 22-02-2009, 02:47 PM
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Thank you girls for all your lovely replies I am definetly feeling better this week, but still struggle with the not having him here with us I often think if the world in general had more respect for life, even our severly disabled babies would be given more of a chance rather than been written off before they are born by the medical profession as 'incompatiable with life'


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Me 42 DH44 dd22 ds20 ds17 ds14 dd9 our Angel Baby Joshua Malachi, battled to stay with us,we lost him at 4 weeks and 5 days,to Edwards syndromeand now his little sister Rachel born january 2008.










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  #13  
Old 23-02-2009, 10:16 AM
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Bless you Bernie. I'm glad you're feeling a little brighter. Take care matey.
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