I know it's been a long time but I really wanted to post an update - it seems v likely that Rob had a tongue tie! It turns out that I STILL have one (at age 38) and the lactation consultant I've seen in preparation for BF no 2 is convinced Rob had one which has now stretched/torn of its own accord. DH has one too.
It would explain all the horrible problems we had in the early days!
So as and when no 2 gets here, I'll be jumping up and down to get her checked ASAP.
Me 39, DH 45, proud parents of Robert and now baby Katherine. Miscarriage (anembryonic pregnancy) Aug 2011.