Feeling a bit discouraged

[Helen]

Hi ladies,

We've been trying for a while for number two with no luck so far and I'm building up my courage for a visit to the docs this afternoon to ask for a referral for some tests, just to see how the land lies. I'm fully expecting to be told it's a very slim chance, there are lots of risks blah blah blah but still feel quite vulnerable. I know that I am tremendously lucky to have Joseph and when we agreed to try again I promised myself that I wouldn't get upset if it didn't happen, and certainly wouldn't let it spoil my time with my beautiful son.....but I am surprised by how gutted I get every month when it doesn't happen. I think it got to me more this month as I didn't get a peak symbol on my monitor which I guess means I didn't ovulate (though put an old stick from earlier in the week in this morning to save wasting any more and it read that as 'peak' - go figure!!) I've also been googling. Never a good idea

Anyway, hope you don't mind me sharing. I feel selfish being blue when I already have my little miracle, and maybe I'm being greedy asking for just one more, but I so love being a mum and would love to do it all again (quote me on that during the dreaded all day sickness!)

Thanks for reading

Helen x