Rebecca writes about termination recovery, moving on and life as a "new, mature mummy" ....
My memory as far as past medical history has always been vague. Questions such as "Have you ever had German measles? What year were your tonsils removed?" and even recent issues such as "When was the first day of your last period?" had me really stumped. I don't recall too much about the termination. From my life's past experiences I have found that dwelling on the past which cannot be changed is of no benefit to me or my family. My poor recollection may be due to the fact that I was heavily medicated at the time, probably just as well. I do appreciate everyone has their own individual means of recovering from losses but I have put the experience behind me now, with the responsibility of a new baby to care for, it is more than time to move on..........
As far as simple day to day life is concerned my memory is functioning adequately. I remember to buy food, clean the house, school projects, meetings, appointments and to file the laundry in correct drawers so my neurons are networking to some degree which is a pleasant surprise.
Thankfully, our baby is developing normally and so far shows no signs of abnormalities. Our 2 children are very different, the 9 year old is very timid and quiet and the baby is very verbal and outgoing which seems to decrease the age gap. My eldest considers the new sibling a profound nuisance and reminisces of peaceful singleton days when the "one and only" reigned supreme and unrivalled - when homework, personal toys,items and the video game controller were forever safe and dry and never used as the latest baby sensory stimulation or teething device.
I don't feel too out of place being a new 40 year old mother, maybe because we are becoming an increasingly accepted part of a growing sector of society. People I meet don't seem surprised when I reveal my age to them, but then, with broken nights and no makeup, I do look it. I'm sure some people would consider it wrong to have a baby late in life but overall being a prehistoric mummy has kept this old fossil's bones moving and active when otherwise they may well have been slowing down. I am ready to contest my younger peers at motherhood though admittedly my challenges may only be on level of Surviving the Tumbletots Class and Fastest Tidier of Toys at the mother and toddler group!
When my husband and I are out as a couple with baby Jacob we are constantly approached and admired, I hope because of our child's constant chatter, interaction and magnetism but I suspect because they are drawn to Jacob's delight on his day out with the grandparents:-). All in all, it has been easier than I expected and I am less competitive and more relaxed than when I was younger and we are looking forward to an interesting future.
The Miscarriage Association
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome & Other Infant Death (SIDS/OID)
Helping After Neonatal Death (HAND)
The Stillbirth and Neonatal Death Society (SANDS)
M.I.S.S.(Mothers in Sympathy & Support)
SPALS (Subsequent Pregnancy After a Loss Support)
NetDoctor.co.uk - information on children's health & diseases
The Fetal Medicine Foundation
Harris Birthright Research Centre (originators of nuchal fold scan)